26.7.11

the world has lost a wonderful man...

hi...
we're back...shattered...very sad...in shock...but somewhere inside i am feeling blessed...
blessed that such a wonderful man gave me my husband...
such an inspiring man gave me a man like him...to have my children with...

some times...just as you think you have a handle on a *tiny* part of life...
just when you think you are getting the bigger picture...
life throws you a massive curve ball...
these last few weeks have forced us to look at life in a way we perhaps didn't...
a way you don't when life is just cruising along...
i have never felt so protective of my husband...
i can't begin to describe the grief we had to carry him through to get him on a plane & to get him the 12,000 miles home to his father...
the divide between australia & england seemed to grow as we flew closer...
my father-in-law David passed away so suddenly, that all we could focus on was getting home to say goodbye...
getting home to spend some time sitting by his bed...


children are wonderful in times of grief...
they have no expectations...of themselves nor anyone around them...
they cry & then they laugh...
they were a very lovely focus amongst the incredibly hard days...
they love with no thought of the outcome...
they just do...


my father-in-law was a wonderful man...
he called me *lovely*...
when he offered me tea...it was *a cup of tea lovely?*...
when he offered me a glass of wine...*a wine lovely?*...
maybe he called many a girl in his life lovely...i don't know...& i don't care...
he inspired my husband to be a loving father...
he inspired my kids to ask endless questions & to always have *time* for new friends...new people...
life to him was to be taken up each & every day...
to be enjoyed whole heartedly & to be savoured...
he will be missed more than anyone can yet think about...


so now, as we return to england...we are focusing on the distances being nothing but a daily phone call away...
email & text messages are our constant life line to Ritchie's family...especially his loving mum...
to leave her was so hard...
she is an incredible welsh woman, who made her life in sydney, australia with this man...
this man that loved her & shared four children with her...many thousands of miles from her hometown on the other side of the world...
we are now doing the same...
David was so proud of us doing this...having this adventure...
he & Fay stayed with us for a month in february...& we feel blessed to have had this time with him...
Ritchie feels blessed...
his father showered him in love & was so proud of what he had achieved here...with his family & with his work...
& now...as we spend the next jetlagged emotional days coming to terms with this loss...those times in february are going to be a great comfort...


thankyou to each & everyone of you who left me a loving message or thought on my last quick post before we flew out to australia
i truly can't tell you how much it meant to me
&
to Ritchie who, whilst i couldn't for some reason, would check up on my blog & let me know the wonderful messages you were all leaving
~~~
that's what happens in times of grief...we all seem to watch out for one another a little bit more

xox


44 comments:

  1. Oh Melissa, feeling for you and your family right now. I was wondering about you all a few days ago. You have written a beautiful post and managed to capture the good that your father in law gave. I'm sure he was proud to call you his daughter in law too. Take care of each other. My sympathies.
    x

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  2. Oh Sweetheart...Im so so sorry I missed reading your previous post. My heart goes out to you and your beautiful little family ..I cant even begin to imagine the heartache you all must be feeling but I know that the huge amount of love that fills your home will help comfort and heal your hearts during this time. Sending you lots of love and positive light sweetheart. All will be well in your world again. xxxx

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  3. Such a beautiful post, honouring such an important man in your family's life, Melissa. My thoughts are with your husband, you and your family... now and always. Much love dear friend ~ Txx

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  4. Melissa.......I am so, so sorry for your family's loss. Beautiful words, he sounds such a wonderful man who loved his family dearly. I understand very much what you are going through at the moment. We have just lost a close member of our family and are still in complete shock. I think it has made us re-evaluate our lives, and just how precious the everyday ordinary is with our family.

    It must be so difficult to be so far away, but the beauty of text, phone and computers makes things just that little bit easier. A voice at the end of the line is pretty close to a big hug in the flesh!

    Take comfort from your lovely memories...we are doing this and it is helping immensely.

    Take care and love to you and your family...............xxx

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  5. What beautiful memories you have of your father-in-law. Thinking of you. Emma x

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  6. sorry to hear of your loss! it must have been a shock for you and your family. it's great you got to spend time together in february.
    cheryl xxx

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  7. This made me cry for you all over again my friend.....I am so sorry for your loss.

    David sounds like a wonderful and very special man....and as a Welsh girl myself, I feel for Fay and her loss too.

    Thinking of you all and sending much love xxxx

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  8. oh lovely, so sorry to read this.
    beautiful memories that will one day make you all smile.
    as for now, I send you strength to deal with the grief.

    many hugs for you all ♥

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  9. Hi M... A lovely post and tribute to your dear father-in-law. Reading this post made me stop and think a whole lot. For so many reasons. The loss your mother-in-law must feel. My hubby here in the States is the whole reason for existing here, if not here, there would be one gaping hole in my very existence. I only hope that time will heal... Chin up... keep smiling and cherish the life that you have. Thinking of you all... Lx

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  10. Oh, I am so sorry to hear this. He sounded like a wonderful Man and Father. People like that never really leave, they are always walking beside you just like they did when they were here.
    Thinking of you all <3
    Ness xx

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  11. Beautifully written and thoughtful. Painful but equally wonderful that you were there to say goodbye. gxoxo

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  12. Melissa I have no words that could bring you much comfort except to say that you have written a beautiful tribute that will live alongside all the many wonderful memories you have of a truly lovely man. You can feel David's lovely essence in your kind and thoughtful words. I'm sure the comfort of each other will ease some of your grief in the coming months. Hugs to you and yours x

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  13. Melissa I am so sorry to hear your sad news but so glad to hear that your father in law was such a wonderful man and that your family are rallying together at this time. Hugs to you all.

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  14. Oh Miss what beautiful words to share with so many of us who perhaps did not know Ritchie's dad and your loving Father in Law. How hard it must have been to write, but how wonderful knowing that in Ritchie you will always have a huge part of a man that had such an impact on you, his 'lovely'. Love , hugs and kisses from us on this side of the pond xx

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  15. Oh, dear, I am SO very sorry for your loss. Sending love and healing thoughts to you and your family from across the pond.

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  16. Oh sweetheart, tears running down my face as I write this....I am so sorry, for the loss and for the fact that you were so far away (surely one of the hardships of living abroad; when disaster strikes). I was so worried as I know something big had happened. Now I know you were where you had to be and so a warm welcome back, in the knowledge that there will be sadness for some time. I am pleased the children surprised you with their resilience - maybe they are stronger than we give them credit for? Much love Melissa... Lou x

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  17. Oh Melissa - I have tears as I sit here - I wish I could have done more while you were here. My heart breaks for you as I know the feeling of the loss of "dad". Sending the biggest of hugs to you, Ritchie and your beautiful family - he will always be with you - no matter where you are in the world. xx Leanne xx

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  18. So sorry -- it's never easy to lose someone you love. xx

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  19. Melissa- what a beautiful post about your father-in-law; he seems like the kind of man the world could use many, many more of. I love how you described the way he would ask if you wanted a cup of tea or wine, that tells a lot about his personality. I am so sorry for your loss but happy you werte able to make it back to Australia and were able to grieve with your families, you have been in my heart and thoughts since I first heard. And you are exactly right, distance nor "real life" makes no difference at all...a friend is a friend, no matter what! Much love to you and your family Melissa and especially to Mr. Sew & So ; ) XO

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  20. So sorry for your loss. Hugs to you and thoughts for your whole family. He sounds like a lovely man.

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  21. So sorry for the loss of your fathr-in-law Melissa. Hugs, thoughts and prayers for you and your family.
    xo Cathy

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  22. so so sorry for your loss. much love to you, melissa.

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  23. I'm sorry, I missed your last post so I've only just heard your sad, sad news. All I know is that your husband is a lucky fella to have such a gorgeous family to support him through this unimaginably horrible time. Best wishes from Bath x x

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  24. Tears...I am so sorry for your sudden loss. You have communicated here in this post how dear your family is to you. How close you all are. What a treasure to have a father in law call you lovely. Or even a father to call you that. It is rare. You are blessed. I will wrap you, your hubby, and children in a hug of prayer. ox Kerrie

    PS your photos of your journey home are beautiful and convey the feelings of this time in your lives so well.

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  25. What a wonderful testimony to his goodness and your husband's. God bless you all.

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  26. Such a lovely post in tribute to your father-in-law.I live away from my family in the UK, (altho' it's not as far as Australia), but I still dread that late night call that something has happened.
    Sending you all warm hugs from Spain.

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  27. I've been thinking about you this last week...wondering if you were home yet...it's going to be strange being back 'home'...where ever home is for people like us...It's wonderful that you had such a great relationship with your father-in-law and I'ms sorry for your hubby, losing a wonderful man like that is very hard...I know! Robx

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  28. How blessed you and your children are to have such a wonderful man, who obviously had a huge and very positive influence over, not only you, but your husband. So rare and beautiful...I am so sorry for your loss.
    God Bless you all,
    Joyce

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  29. Hi Melissa, I am so sorry for your loss of such a great man and father. I can only imagine how that felt to be so far away. May God give you all peace as you travel back to the UK and comfort as you hold memories tight. God bless you all.

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  30. Oh Melissa, I am so, so sorry that your family has lost such a wonderful man. Your post is such a beautiful tribute to his legacy of love and kindness. My love and prayers go to you and Ritchie and your little ones as you try to get on with the business of living in a world without such a special man. I hope that you will feel a measure of peace and calm in the coming weeks and months. Much love and big hugs,Meredy xo

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  31. I'm so sorry for your loss Melissa, I really know how much the distance seems to grow from here to Australia at times like this and how odd it can be to be coming 'home' when you're leaving home. My thoughts have been with you since I read your last post. Take care of each other and remember the wonderful things that you put in this tribute. Hugs, Melissa xo

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  32. Hi Melissa, I've been wondering and worrying about you all, and I'm so sorry for all that you've been going through. Coming 'home' to the UK must have been quite surreal. You obviously had a special relationship with David, and your tribute is beautifully written. Stay strong for Ritchie, and keep your loved ones close!
    The saying that you never know what is around the corner is all too poignant when so far away.
    Amanda xx

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  33. Sorry to hear of your loss Melissa, such a beautiful tribute to your Father in law :) x

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  34. Oh, Sweetheart. Off to email you now. J x

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  35. Oh dear Melissa, I am so, so sorry to hear that you've lost such a dear family member. With your words, you have painted a picture of a gentle man, treasured by his loved ones and to be forever missed. Hold each other softly over there xx

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  36. Glad to see you are back. You were in my thoughts often while you were gone. I'm so sorry for the loss you and your family have suffered, but I am glad you have beautiful memories of your father in law to hold on to.
    I know the healing process is a long one. I will continue to keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.
    Your pictures are beautiful, as always. :)

    Lots of love,
    Alima

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  37. Melissa, I am so sorry for your loss. What an emotional time for you all. You have written such a lovely post, a loving tribute. Take care.

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  38. I'm so sorry to read of your loss.
    What a lovely tribute to your father in law. He sounds like he was an amazing man. Sending you and your family much love and strength at this hard time xox

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  39. I was so afraid it
    was something like
    this. Your dear father
    in law sounds like a
    delightful man and
    one who lived life to
    the fullest. Your
    post is a great reminder
    to do just that, which
    is a great legacy for
    him. Glad you are home
    safe but can only imagine
    the emotional turmoil.
    Sending you lots of love
    and hugs galore.
    xx Suzanne

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  40. thanks for this post i was feeling so worried about you.so sorry to hear your sad news and hope it's not too difficult for ritchie to be back in blighty and so far away from his family. lots of love xx

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  41. Praying for you all. So sorry for your loss. Hold onto each other and all of the good memories.
    Debbi

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  42. Today I found your precious blog. My heart , tears, and prayers go out to you and your family. May God hold you in palm of His hands and comfort you as only He can... I love how you wrote this blog post and you can be assured it has deeply touched, and will continue to, the hearts of many...
    I know first hand in some senses what you are going through as just a few short weeks ago my only brother Richie, passed away suddenly... and because he had no insurance, I being the only family basically am dealing with everything myself... it is so hard...I had just spoken with him the night before , told him I loved him and was praying for him, and that we would speak the next day...( he had back surgery that day..and supposedly it was successful the drs told me).. then.. a few hours later, the horrid call form the drs.... and me many states away...
    anyway,... please know I am thinking of you... and again, so glad I found your precious blog!

    graciously,
    Cathy B
    pbprojecthope at yahoo dot com
    http://palmbreezeliving.blogspot.com

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  43. I am doing a blog catch up on your site. This post had me in tears. How sad for your family. So sorry for your loss. So wonderful that you could drop everything and return to Australia. Thinking of you during this difficult time. N x

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  44. Oh my, Melissa! I am just now catching up. I am so, so sorry to hear this news. I can relate entirely. Having just lost both of my parents suddenly I understand the shock and confusion of it all. You are right, children are a wonderful distraction during these times. They are what kept and keep me from dwelling on the sadness.

    Many prayers and good thoughts to you and your family. Big hugs!

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Thanks for taking a moment...x

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